Sep 23, 2009

On Marriage: To jump or not to jump

I have been inspired by a friend to write something about marriage.  This is my friend who herself has been once or in several occasions, at the brink of making the biggest decision of her life, to get married.  One day, we had a girly talk. She asked my opinion about getting into marriage with her long time boyfriend. I didn't fret and I told her right away that if they really love each other, then go. It's pretty simple, no buts, no ifs. If for even a single moment that one of them, hesitates, it should signify that the intent is not wholehearted. Because I believe that if they truly love each other, they give their whole heart and faith in their union and they'll find ways to work things out. I am not saying that sheer emotions will work. What I'm talking about is the feeling of love that makes a couple cherish each other unconditionally. But then as we went on with our conversation, I realized that  there are several buts. Then came several reservations and second thoughts. Later on,  I heard the news that they finally called it off. Luckily, it was a peaceful ending. Both were mature enough to face the truth and they parted quietly. What appeared to be a sad end turned into a liberating moment for this dear friend. I thought the news of her marrying was the happiest one, I was wrong. I was glad in seeing her free herself finally and in learning that she had the guts to set him free as well.


So what happened? Well, let's just say that it didn't work out.  Both of them have realized that having second thoughts and having a lot of other things in their minds which were out of focus have somehow disqualified them temporarily in their pursuit of a married life. But more than these, they've just felt love had died down  and it just happened, it was out of their control. I felt sad too, but you know what, the great thing that they did was that they didn't force themselves into it, they were brave enough to call it off. I'm glad that they made the right decision. Marriage is not something people should hop in to whenever they feel like it. If there's a reason for two people to get married, it should be love and love only. Otherwise,  it would be difficult for the couple to have respect, trust, loyalty, and friendship in their marriage. (Credit to owner of the photo.)

1 comment:

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    ----------------------------------------------------
    眾生升墜總原理:「內分外分」與上升下墜
    內分(貪愛分內),屬情故下墜
    外分(渴仰分內),屬想故上升
    臨終善惡相現
    升墜之類別:
    飛升之類─淨土、天道、鬼神(想多之眾生)
    不升不墜─人道(情想參半之眾生)
    下墜之類─三塗(情多想少之眾生)
    結論別業中有同業

    十因在各道之餘習
    十習因 鬼道 畜生道 人道
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    誑習(貪惑) 畜昧(狐獸精靈)   狐類(狐狸......) 庸類(卑鄙)
    瞋習(貪恨) 蠱毒(毒虫惡蟲)   毒類(虺蛇......) 狠類(剛暴)
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    慢習(貪傲) 氣餓(飢虛之鬼)   食類(虎狼......) 柔類(懦弱)
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    訟習(貪黨) 傳送(遞傳吉凶)   循類(鴿犬......) 達類(小知世故)
       

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